On the way to a NEW ME!!!

So I don't know how many of you know or not, but I got Hip Hop Abs For Christmas (My sisters in laws both do it and love it and have gotten results) So I decided to try it out! And I cannot believe I am about to publicly admit to this on blogger, but when I was pregnant with Jaycen, about 5 days before I went into labor I hit the very humiliating and HORRIBLE number 300! I know I cannot believe I let myself get that bad!!!!! But before even getting the hip hop abs and everything....I have lost 40 pounds so far! 20 of it I lost just from having Jaycen, and then the other 20 by eating better and being a little more active. My wedding ring EASILY comes off of my finger finally! :) So I have taken my BEFORE picture and I think I will get the guts to post it, but only when I post my AFTER (With hopefully some wonderful results).
I know it sounds like just another excuse, but I HONESTLY believe that my horrible weight problem is the cause of a lot of my problems!
I know that this will probably sound horrible, but I am so sick of seeing other mom's who can go down the slide with their children at the parks, take their kids swimming, and just full out be active with their kids! I WANT THAT MORE THAN ANYTHING!!!! But my "Fluffy" butt as Scott calls it won't even fit in any of the slides at the park, and out of respect of others I WILL NOT get into a bathing suit and go swimming, no matter how bad I WANT TO! And because of how horribly out of shape that i am, the second I try and do anything I am gasping for air, and just sore and feels so sick!
I want to be able to go to salt lake with my family and not be the BIG PARTY POOPER, Scott can walk and walk and walk.....and that's not an understatement, I go a block and I'm done for!! Which I get so HUMILIATED when I cant do anything without having to sit down, and even after doing that I still hurt and can hardly move.
And I also want to lose weight so that this summer I can ride the motorcycle with Scott again! (I have promised myself I am not going to ride again until I am skinny, I am so sick of the crude people out there who constantly yell out their car windows at me "You're Over the weight limit!". No matter how much I know that I big, it still hurts SO BAD to have people say that kind of stuff at you.
The other night Scott and I went to the movies (Our first time alone since Jaycen has been born, and I have been so stressed and needing a break) and I couldn't even enjoy it, because first thing when we showed up there was these boys in the lobby area, who kepts smirking, and yelling "YUMMY" and calling me a pig and fat, and it just hurt so bad!!! I don't know why people have to be so cruel. If you're lucky enough to have good metabolism and be skinny, DONT think that just because there's people out there who are big, that it's because they're lazy and stuffing their faces with food 24/7. we are viewed as the most disgusting thing on earth, and it's just WRONG!!! We have feelings too, and want to be skinny, it's just so incredibly hard... Oh my gosh, I am such a girl, I am baulling my eyes out right now and can hardly type....

Well now that I've calmed myself down, I just wanted to post this and let everybody know that I really need the encouragement and good luck from you guys...so please wish me luck! I am on my way HOPEFULLY to a new, skinnier, healthier, happier ME! :)